<3

There is one thing I want in this world:

(Ok ok, I take it back. But if I had to want only one thing, this would be it.)

Opera Love.

The kind of love Wagner and Puccini wrote about. Where it is love at first sight, forbidden and secret but still pure and beautiful. No talking about oneself, just simply swooning for each other and promising eternal happiness. Armies, oceans, and time are not enough to keep two people apart. Glorious arias and magnificent monologues professing this feeling are a part of every day - one is never alone.

Ladies wear glamorous dresses, massive skirts with a tiny waist, whereas the men are dressed in classic suits and rich fabrics. (Always a handkerchief for the lady!) There are no cell phones with text messaging to mess it up, no playing hard to get. No cars and awkward dinners, only carriages and candle-lit meals in a grand dining room. Though not everyone approves, it doesn't matter what this foolish world thinks of this love!


Oh, wouldn't it be nice.

Nicknames, etc.

Yep, it stuck.

Thanks to the cool kids in to Mellophone section, I am now "Ray-Ray" to students at Northwestern. Who knows how it happened, and I don't know exactly how I feel about it yet. Even though it's rather goofy, it's nice to know there's something special there. Band camp is over - this season is going to be amazing!

Also, I now have three fish! The small spotted orange one is Gus. There's a silver one with black trim and a golden one with spots that don't have names yet. Something good will come to me later I suppose.

More veggies less carbs.

Gone For Good

Untie me, I've said no vows.

Yes, it's true. I am changing my major to Business, with a concentration in either Finance or Marketing. I am no longer a Music Ed major.

Here are my reasons:

Job Security. A BME is great if you want to teach music, but does not transfer well to other sectors. I never want to be begging for work, and I want to set myself up for success. A business major will be an asset no matter where I land.

$. (Does this really need an explanation?)

I've been working with a local marching band, and I know I could not teach high school band for an extended period. I'm sure I could if I absolutely had to... but I don't have to. So I'm not going to. The kids are outstanding, it is a great experience, and the school has the "perfect" program, but it's just not meshing like it should. I'm certainly not all about me some band right now.

I truly believe I can be just as happy being a businesswoman - rocking a power suit. (I blame my mom for this one!) But in all seriousness, I love talking with people, I love presenting my ideas, I love working through problems and organizing my time. This is a change a feel confident in. There's a million different directions my life could go from there, and I cannot wait.

Life will go on. It's nice to think someone in CMUS might care for five minutes, and then I'll just be one of those people that woulda coulda shoulda. But how many kids walk in and turn around? At the end of the day, no one cares aboutchya. It was a good first year, but that's about all I want to deal with.

Current goal: celebrate my 24th birthday in New York City, with an awesome job and a busy life.
And I'm going to make it happen; this is Step One.

Treasures of Highway 21

I am pretty excited right now, especially since it is exactly midnight as I start this. My current living arrangement is pretty sah-weet.

Upon further review of my closet situation, I decided to bring a new chest of drawers into my life. A dangerous move, perhaps it's too soon, but I was willing to take the plunge.

On my commute home on Highway 21 (a backroad in South Carolina ... who would'a thought?), I pass by a little shop called Bits and Pieces Used Furniture. It's always seemed a little sketch, but I thought I might be able to find a deal. Little did I know!

I went in and a big guy helped me around the old rockers, desks, shelves, and scattered lamps. Even though they were all a little bit tired, they all had their own stories - most originating pre-1980. Nerdy, but cool. Very Brave Little Toaster-esque.

I saw this chest and fell head over heels. I don't know what kind of wood it is - maybe cherry? - but it is gorgeous. Definitely hand-made, the guy said it was at least 50 years old. Just think of its story! And yes, it was rather dirty, but a little lovin' with some Old English and it was back. I got some Cedar planks this afternoon to keep out the critters and some drawer liner to keep my clothes sqeeky clean, and I'll move it to the closet in the morning after it has a chance to breathe for a night.

When I was cleaning it, I found some turquoise glitter in the bottom drawer. The memory of a girl's dance costume, of course. Her dad made it for his little girl's 8th birthday. I wonder where they are today.

Hopefully it likes its new home - I'll give it another story.

ch-changes

Ok ok, it's been a while. Not that anyone reads this, but it's nice to take the thoughts out of my brain and put them into cyberspace for the entire human population to access and judge me accordingly. Comforting, truly.

My trip to Seattle was "interesting," to say the least. All of my expectations were completely wrong! (I take that back. The family drama was hardly unpredictable, har har har.) The people and places I thought I had a deep, lifelong connection with proved to be distant and changed; relationships with the most random were temporarily made to pass the time. Life is so dramatically different, yet tragically identical.

We're all at that age where stuff actually starts to matter. Bills have to be paid, jobs become a priority, and the network of people to keep us afloat is vital. The hard part is figuring out where all those things stack up against each other.

I think it'd be easier to stuff my head in a book for the next ten years and have an awesome career. I haven't decided if I want to get married, let alone have kids. Sure, it's like ten years away, but it's still kind of a big deal. I should probably DATE. But I don't wanna, no ma'am.

Blah blah blah, back to the topic. I'm changing. Sorta. "Times change, people don't," said Susan Tullar. Right-o. I had a slapintheface the other day when I was with a handfull of people. I was so not happy, but I kept going back to that 7th grade feeling: they are normal, I need to be like them. Force it. Make it work. Suck in your stomach and smile, pretend to be having a ball even though you have NO CLUE why you are still here.

I'm done pretending. Finished! I'm not normal. I don't watch a lot of TV. I don't work out and don't wear size 2. I don't go to church, but I'm pretty grounded in my beliefs. I have huge dreams that I'm almost ashamed of. I'm in the band, but I don't think I'm a "band geek." I like economics. I love to wear high heels, but won't dress up to go to the movies. I have a hiccup and hideous feet. I'm not happy with how I look, but you might not believe me because I was trained to sit up straight. If you can't say it out loud or look me in the eye, it's not worth saying or listening to. I never want to be dependent on anyone else for as long as I live, but that doesn't mean I want to be alone. I really really really like smart people who can question the world and have their own ideas, who aren't afraid to speak up. My family truly does mean the world to me, and every one of them is probably a hundred times cooler than all my friends.

I want to "fit in," but I have yet to find people that I really want to fit in with.

Facebook will probably be gone next week. Bookmark this page or something, I'll keep you updated. Because srsly, I need to get a life.

Love ya bye!

surprise!

Surprise! We missed you!

What? You still remember who I am? I can't believe it. It's been great to be back, but I am still a little shocked that you actually wanted to see me. Somehow, I always thought I was the totally forgettable type. The girl who sat in a corner and didn't want to ____. But, whatever, that's a long time ago. It's awesome that we can still hang out and laugh about the same things.

Goodbyes always feel easier when there's hope in the future. Then you get to where you're going and erase erase erase all memories of that place you once belonged. But that's not healthy, and it definitely doesn't work.

Seattle, the city, is AMAZING. Mill Creek? Not so much.

We all have our problems, and I know I probably talk about mine a little too much. But right now, it is almost 2 in the morning Pacific time, and I am totally happy. And super tired.

If I had one of those kinda nerdy cartoon Ts with the "Life is Good" logo, I'd be wearing it right now.

compare&contrast

So, I'm in the lovely little town of Mill Creek right now, and North Carolina is not bad at all. However, there are some things that Washington has that are just "better." Here's the list of things I see over the next week or so.

Reasons Why Washington Rules
You don't need sunglasses all the time
Taco Time is the best fast food ever
Got trees?
Fred Meyer. The best thing since sliced bread.
"Going Green" is a way of life
Puget Sound, the most beautiful place on earth
No one would ever ask "what church do you go to" without prompting
There are no cicadas. Or cicada killer bees.
The mountains are real. They blow up.
Hurricanes and tornadoes? What are those?
The music scene is truly unstoppable.

Reasons Why North Carolina Rules
Bank of America ... the ATMs don't need envelopes.
Harris Teeter, where they unload your cart for you and are super clean and super nice and have 30 different types of cheese
The chicken is real at Chick-fil-A
The Evening Muse. GO THERE.
Minimal clothing required, it's always 80 degrees+
Volcanoes and earthquakes? What are those?
The world is shrinking, so it doesn't really matter where you are.


more to come ... but probably not.