Welcome Back!

Well, dear reader, please let me apologize for not writing sooner. The catch phrase around here has been "it's soo crazy!" ... and it is. But that is no excuse. Here's a quick update about the stuff that happened between then and now.



First, Obamarama. Kudos. I hope the momentum sticks, people need something to hang onto in these truly insane economic times. But I don't feel like talking politics tonight.



The music building has been an interesting place to be these past few weeks. I'm in a wonderful, but odd place. I absolutely love what I'm doing and where I'm at, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm horribly out of place. "Relationships" with people who are, by definition, my superior have been tricky simply because they're miles out of my comfort zone. The lines change daily - making initial conversation bumbling and indirect until I find my ground and put my game face on. After that I'm safe (with most), and I'm getting better. I look forward to the challenge.



Next semester is going to be fabulous, in all honesty. I'll be taking a full course load, working on campus, and doing the church job. That's it! No crazy high school stuff, no sporadic schedule anywhere else. Classes start at 11:00 Monday, Wednesday, Friday! Tuesday/Thursday is 9:30 Theory (but it's my favorite class and my favorite professor so it's all good). I can actually work out in the morning and have a set practice routine. Thank goodness. I might actually have my sanity this time next semester!



I cleaned everything today. It's very nice to live in such a small space - I can do a top-to-bottom scrub of the entire place in just a day. House keeping has become a therapeutic activity for me, even though I used to resent every minute of it as a kid. It is unbelievably calming to take a day off, turn on some good music, and move everything, clean it, vacuum the floor, and put it all back perfectly. mmmm.



Thursday was the last night of its kind. Time to get back into my usual character - the one who cares about grades, punctuality, etiquette, and presentation. I am a good kid, I am. I just need to get my act together from the past couple of weeks and nail all of my finals.

That being said, I should go to bed. I have to sing in the morning!

This has been fun. I promise it'll happen again. :D

No Complaints

I'm not complaining. I'm really not. But, I just want to "put it out there" so if anyone cares, they'll know what a week looks like for me. Here it goes:

Monday:
8:00 AM French.
Business Admin
Horn Lesson
Econ
Rep
Work
Rehearsal
(dinner)
Set-Up
Rehearsal.

Tuesday:
8:00 AM French.
Dutchman Creek MS
American Government
(work, practice, apts, whatever.)
Marching Band

Wednesday:
8:00 AM French.
Business Admin
Econ
Work
Rehearsal
(dinner)
Rehearsal

Thursday:
8:00 AM French.
breaaaak!!!
Piano Lesson
American Government
Work

Friday:
Business Admin
Econ
Work

Saturday:
Competitions.

Sunday:
Sing/Play at church.


If I look like I'm going to fall apart, that's why. But it's all self-induced, and it's really not thaaat bad. But srsly y'all, you can bet this won't be happening again.


Sunday night, let the games begin!

10/3/08

All of a sudden, I am happy to be a red-head. We will be extinct by 2050 ... be glad you know one!

Immortal Beloved is a beautiful movie. With only a glass of white zinn, I watched it for the first time this evening and thoroughly enjoyed it. People don't feel things like the used to it seems - love is just "something that happens" instead of two souls bound, two matching minds, from the beginning.

Here's the latest on the major change, from the most indecisive of them all. BA Music, BA Economics (and if I can squeeze in a minor in Political Science, I'll be thrilled!). Not being a music major is not an option. It didn't take long to figure that out - one month of feeling out of the loop and I felt dead. I am a music person who happens to be interested in business; that music department is my family, even if they don't know it.

POLITICS OMG. Without getting too personal, what the heck is going on? I don't know exactly how I feel about the Rescue(BAILOUT)Plan, other than it sets a frightening precedent that goes against most everything our free-market, capitalist, meritocratic system has stood for. As for the candidates, they're a rather entertaining bunch.

I feel inspired to become more active in the political sphere. Maybe being an elected official would be fun, but maybe being an advisor would be a safer route. But man oh man, things need to change and people need to get it together. I would jump at the opportunity to be part of that when I'm a little older and a bit wiser.

Let's see ... work is good, school is fine, I'm bad at French, miss my dog, and probably should sleep more. No complaints.

Time to go to sleep and listen to my new Jeff Buckley CD. More cohesive thoughts later.

life in general at 3:14 AM

You know those goofy people that write what they have to say, but don't say who it's to? I'm one of them. I have random ideas at this time of day. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow.

Even though your major is ridiculous, you are the bestest friend in the whole entire world. I wish you were here, or that we could just drive around and listen to our favorite music and be happy and talk about how awesome things in general are. Hopefully we won't be so far away next year. I miss you SO much!

You guys are pretty cool. Yes, it's true that we have our different beliefs (to say the least), but our relationship is special, unique, and rare. Though it hasn't been easy, I know that distance has made us closer. I can't tell you all how much it means that we can still talk about things, even if it's just general "stuff" now. You all have been the standard of awesome in my life, and that certainly isn't going to change! If only if only.

I don't know who I'm going for, but I think I know who's going to win. I want a law degree pronto so I can go be part of the movers and the shakers in DC. I know we can DO BETTER.

It'd be nice to see you every now and then, but I know you've got better things to do than see me. I'm not being sarcastic, I just hope you're content. So sorry to bother you on Mondays.

I am happy I am happy I am happy I am happy as a business major. Am I saying it for everyone to hear? Do I know what I'm getting in to? Does anyone in that building actually care? So many people have come and gone, I am just a check, a ten-minute meeting, a signature, and a goodbye. Nothing more, nothing less.

I do not have a clue as to what will happen in the next twelve months. If all goes according to plan, I will continue breathing. That is all I know for certain. But that's a start, right?



Time for bed. Enjoy the rambles.

"If only, if only, the woodpecker sighs, the bark on the tree was as soft as the skies. The wolf waits below, hungry and lonely, And cries to the moon, if only, if only.”

<3

There is one thing I want in this world:

(Ok ok, I take it back. But if I had to want only one thing, this would be it.)

Opera Love.

The kind of love Wagner and Puccini wrote about. Where it is love at first sight, forbidden and secret but still pure and beautiful. No talking about oneself, just simply swooning for each other and promising eternal happiness. Armies, oceans, and time are not enough to keep two people apart. Glorious arias and magnificent monologues professing this feeling are a part of every day - one is never alone.

Ladies wear glamorous dresses, massive skirts with a tiny waist, whereas the men are dressed in classic suits and rich fabrics. (Always a handkerchief for the lady!) There are no cell phones with text messaging to mess it up, no playing hard to get. No cars and awkward dinners, only carriages and candle-lit meals in a grand dining room. Though not everyone approves, it doesn't matter what this foolish world thinks of this love!


Oh, wouldn't it be nice.

Nicknames, etc.

Yep, it stuck.

Thanks to the cool kids in to Mellophone section, I am now "Ray-Ray" to students at Northwestern. Who knows how it happened, and I don't know exactly how I feel about it yet. Even though it's rather goofy, it's nice to know there's something special there. Band camp is over - this season is going to be amazing!

Also, I now have three fish! The small spotted orange one is Gus. There's a silver one with black trim and a golden one with spots that don't have names yet. Something good will come to me later I suppose.

More veggies less carbs.

Gone For Good

Untie me, I've said no vows.

Yes, it's true. I am changing my major to Business, with a concentration in either Finance or Marketing. I am no longer a Music Ed major.

Here are my reasons:

Job Security. A BME is great if you want to teach music, but does not transfer well to other sectors. I never want to be begging for work, and I want to set myself up for success. A business major will be an asset no matter where I land.

$. (Does this really need an explanation?)

I've been working with a local marching band, and I know I could not teach high school band for an extended period. I'm sure I could if I absolutely had to... but I don't have to. So I'm not going to. The kids are outstanding, it is a great experience, and the school has the "perfect" program, but it's just not meshing like it should. I'm certainly not all about me some band right now.

I truly believe I can be just as happy being a businesswoman - rocking a power suit. (I blame my mom for this one!) But in all seriousness, I love talking with people, I love presenting my ideas, I love working through problems and organizing my time. This is a change a feel confident in. There's a million different directions my life could go from there, and I cannot wait.

Life will go on. It's nice to think someone in CMUS might care for five minutes, and then I'll just be one of those people that woulda coulda shoulda. But how many kids walk in and turn around? At the end of the day, no one cares aboutchya. It was a good first year, but that's about all I want to deal with.

Current goal: celebrate my 24th birthday in New York City, with an awesome job and a busy life.
And I'm going to make it happen; this is Step One.